Meeting with Your Divorce Coach

Constructive, Supportive and Forward-Thinking Advice for Your Collaborative Divorce

Communication, problem-solving and decision-making skills are imperative as you and your spouse traverse the complexities of the divorce process. Often is the case, however, that tensions and emotions impair spouses to function at their best, and many times, negotiations, discussion and conflict management tend to suffer as a result.

Sadly, the typical courtroom divorce offers no support for the range of emotions and communication breakdown many experience throughout the process. Collaborative divorce understands the mental and emotional state of couples as they work to reach a settlement that best meets the needs and goals of their family, and that’s why the process incorporates a neutral divorce coach to provide constructive insight to help you and your spouse manage conflict, communicate effectively and address emotions which could impede your decision-making abilities.

A licensed mental health professional, such as a licensed professional counselor, a marriage and family therapist or a social worker, brings a dynamic skill set and neutrality to the collaborative process which can help you and your spouse refine communication skills, set goals, discuss concerns and regulate emotions in order to make sound decisions while working toward a resolution.

The Role of a Divorce Coach in Collaborative Divorce

The divorce coach is pivotal to the successful flow of a collaborative case, as they work with you and your spouse to improve communication skills, set goals, assess and manage raw emotions, creatively address parenting concerns and establish an amicable rapport.

During meetings with your divorce coach, you and your spouse are encouraged to work cooperatively to address concerns and goals. Each spouse is encouraged to speak openly and honestly, with the other asked to listen attentively and provide positive feedback. You and your spouse will work with your divorce coach to determine a method of solving problems and reaching decisions throughout your discussions together.

Throughout your discussions with the neutral divorce coach, you and your spouse will work to address commonly asked questions such as:

  • What and how do we tell our children about the divorce?
  • What effect will the divorce have on our children?
  • How do we negotiate a workable co-parenting plan?
  • How will we pay for all of these expenses?

Through cooperative problem-solving skills, open communication, goal-oriented negotiations and emotional support from the neutral divorce coach, you and your spouse will establish a positive foundation for a mutually-beneficial settlement and effective co-parenting scenario after your divorce.

The Benefits of a Divorce Coach in Collaborative Divorce

The traditional courtroom divorce offers little to no regard for the influx of emotions and communication issues which result from a marital dispute. This is particularly problematic when you and your spouse must interact after the divorce, in a case such as co-parenting or in social circles. It also often causes the divorce process to become messy, uncomfortable and combative, and in turn, more costly for both parties.

The collaborative divorce process recognizes the importance of addressing emotional concerns and communication issues you and your spouse will experience during the process. By partnering with a neutral divorce coach, you and your spouse will experience benefits such as:

  • More positive and constructive discussions about your relationship and outcomes for the divorce
  • Greater understanding of emotions you both may be experiencing and how to cope with them
  • An amicable environment to creatively solve problems and address concerns
  • Development of a parenting plan to ensure an effective co-parenting strategy
  • Better understanding of one another’s concerns, resulting in a more desirable settlement for you both

Meeting with a divorce coach can also save you and your spouse money on their divorce overall, as concerns, emotions and communication issues are addressed in meetings with the divorce coach, rather than in the team meetings where all professionals are present and “on the clock”.

What to Expect from a Divorce Coach During a Collaborative Divorce

Because of the magnitude a constructive environment, good communication, trust and regulated emotions have on the outcome of a divorce, you and your spouse can expect to work on effective listening skills, finding shared goals, teamwork and respect while meeting with the divorce coach.

If you and your spouse have children, a parenting plan is also negotiated during meetings with the divorce coach. This plan will establish a mutually agreed upon strategy for co-parenting after divorce, including who sees the children and when, how holidays are handled, long-term goals for your kids and provisions for financial support.

Being a neutral, the divorce coach will attentively listen and provide constructive, unbiased feedback to both you and your spouse. The divorce coach’s neutrality also aids in establishing and reinforcing trust throughout the collaborative process. They will also assist the couple in relaying concerns to the collaborative team during group meetings, which can expedite the process and save the couple money.

By not addressing concerns, fears, anxieties and emotions which may lead to a breakdown in communication, you and your spouse could be setting yourselves up for a very costly, bitter and painful divorce, which is why the collaborative process integrates the keen insight of an experienced, neutral divorce coach.

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